We've got movie review sign!

I'm bringing back movie reviews by Dean.

(Hold for applause.)

That's right, I was looking around the Intertubes recently, and I discovered that there's not quite enough content along the lines of pointless personal opinion, so I'm going to throw my two cents in with a handful of skewed, irrelevant, and fundamentally flawed movie reviews.

I'm going to rate each movie I watch out of 10 stars, plus add in little tidbits that swayed my opinion one way or the other.

For example, the following features would slightly increase a movie's score:

	one or more of my favourite actors, e.g. Bill Murray, Peter Sellers, Steve Martin, Jodie Foster, Dustin Hoffman, Philip Seymour Hoffman		significant cuteness, e.g. Zooey Deschanel, Lucy Liu, Summer Glau, Julia Stiles, early Cameron Diaz
	helicopters, especially doing ridiculous things		seagulls or similarly great animals, especially doing heroic things
	if I know someone in the credits (bonus points if it's me)

But the movie-going experience is not all peaches and kitten sandwiches, sometimes it gets ugly. The following features would slightly (or greatly) detract from a movie's score:

	any actors that annoy me, e.g. Hugh Grant, Shia "The Beef" LaBeouf, Reese Witherspoon, and, I'm assuming, anyone involved with the Twilight mega-franchise		bad stupidness, i.e. stupidness in a movie that doesn't make me happy, because believe me, stupid movies can still rate pretty darn high on my scale, as I'm sure you'll see
	if I fell asleep while watching (bonus points for falling asleep in a theatre)

Movies will get a rating out of 10 stars, where I predict the average score for a movie which I think is pretty okay will be 7.5, like so:



I'll also try to write up a little blurb about each movie (avoiding even mild spoilers as well as I humanly can), commenting on the movie's strengths and weaknesses, as seen through the distorted lens of Dean-o-vision.

By the way, feel free to request certain movie reviews in the comments, I'll take them under advisement.

As an aside to that, I should note that there's a groundswell of support at work for this outlandish idea that I will tolerate terrible movies more than the average person, and that it would be entertaining to get me to watch all the worst movies out there, and laugh as I give them 6 or 7 out of 10 stars. To this, I say: Sure, I'm cool with that. Bring it.

Dean out.

Upcoming reviews:

• The Watch
• Comic Con IV: A Fan's Hope
• The Muppets

Movies on the to-(re-)watch list:

• 2012
• Alien franchise
• BloodRayne
• Battleship
• Black Sheep
• Blues Brothers
• Demon Island/Survival Island/Pinata
• Earnest Goes to Camp
• Ghostbusters
• Ghosts of Mars
• Gigli
• Life of Brian
• Manos the Hands of Fate
• Meet Joe Black
• Plan 9 From Outer Space
• Space Chimps
• Spirit
• Strange Brew
• Train 48 (TV show)
• The Watch
• Zardoz

Reviewed movies:

• Alien
• Melancholia
• Hop
• Splice
• The Campaign
• Bernie
• Prometheus