Mockery Pie
Regular (boring) ingredients:
* apples
* pears
* pie crust
* cinnamon, sugar, flour, etc.
Extra (highly experimental) ingredients:
* gummi bears
* Swedish berries
* slivered almonds
* Smarties (for pie top)
Directions:
* same as regular pie, except add to apple/pear mixture: gummi bears, Swedish berries, and slivered almonds
* once pie is assembled, carve M for Mockery on top, and arrange Smarties around the place willy-nilly
* bake as usual, something like an hour
Results:
The pie came out looking very colourful, but not in the way I intended. I had hoped the Smarties would melt and leave colourful smears all over the top of the pie. Instead, most of the little candy shells survived the hour in a 375 degree oven, with only a few of them changing appearance at all (to an unhealthy moldy tan colour).
Another surprise was that the inside of the pie. Rather than being the usual thick, viscous apple mixture (with added goo from the gummi bears and Swedish berries) that I had expected, it was completely liquid. Even after setting it outside in the cold December air to cool for an hour or so, it was just a sloshing soup of apples, pears and mostly-unmelted Swedish berries.
The smell... Well, it smelled like what I could have guessed, but a lot stronger. The gummi bears completely took over, and infused the rest of the pie with that warm, chemical smell of liquified gummi that I'm sure you're all familiar with. It was overpowering.
It was at this point that we decided to try it. Well, I decided, and Holly and Janet were too overcome by gummi fumes to think it through and object. I ended up eating a whole piece, but Janet and Holly were a little brighter than I was, and stopped eating much quicker than I did. Here are the reactions:
Of course, this was without waiting for it to properly congeal, which is obviously the best course of action when dealing with mockery pie. I cleverly went to work the next day, leaving Holly and Janet to take the pie out of the fridge, and discover that it had, in fact, gelled. So much, in fact, that the inside of the pie was now a solid mass of gummi with bits of apple stuck in. As Holly said, when you pushed it, it pushed back.
Holly cut a slice of pie, and was amazed at how well it stood up on its own.
Janet seemed more impressed with how a gummi-infused pie managed to stick completely to the pie plate.
All in all, I consider this venture a great success, if only to be able to warn the rest of the world not to try this, and to have that little itch of curiosity forever scratched.
Of course, now I'm kind of curious about whether a more savoury pie might work, maybe one with french fries and cheese...
4 comments:
I'd like to apologize for looking hyper-disgusted by your pie, but I'm still having flashbacks to the incident.
As for your continuing curiousity ...surely they make medication for that?
Awesome post, Seagull Boy :)
I think Holly actually has tears in her eyes.
I think disgusting doesn't even begin to sum up the congealed pie photos. Disturbing comes a little closer. And I agree with Janet, medication may be a good idea, but not in a pie of course ;)
I haven't been able to stomach reading this post until now. Thanks for including all the photos, to preserve that unique pie in all its gummi glory. I hope never to taste a concoction like that again!
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