Bus etiquette

As a veteran bus rider, I've seen it all. I've been shoulder to shoulder in a jam-packed bus going to school, I've been the sole rider of a double-length bus for miles and miles, I've seen people fall over, throw up, get thrown out, try to get a cello to the back of a crowded bus... the list goes on and on. And with all this experience comes a strong understanding of the unwritten rules - the bus etiquette, as it were. Quite specific, but no less binding than having to excuse yourself after a resounding belch at the dinner table. Since I live in Canada, most of the bus etiquette rules aren't enforced (or even discussed), but make no mistake, transgressors will feel the disapproving stares of the surrounding passengers on them.

I figured I'd write some of these unwritten rules down, just to see what would happen. Here are a few key tidbits to try to remember, should you ever find yourself taking public transit.

And I hope this doesn't come off as bitter - take it more as a cross between a scientific study and an instructional lesson.

1. Be aware that other people exist.
You're not the only person on the planet, or even (usually) on the bus. This is more of a meta-rule than an actual rule - it's the basis for most other rules, but still merits mentioning on its own. You can easily spot the people who don't follow this - lost in their own head, sporting a vacant stare, refusing to see other people, even if they're standing right in front of them.

2. Don't block the aisle.
If you can move back or sit down, do it. True, sometimes you want to talk to your friend who has just sat in the last seat, but if space is short, you should either find an out-of-the-way nook and let people past, or just tell your friend you'll talk to them soon, and move back. What you don't want to do is just stand there, oblivious to the front-of-the-bus crush.

3. Give up your seat.
This goes not only for the courtesy seats at the front, but for all seats. If you see someone who is elderly, pregnant, laden with kids (or packages) (or both), or who just looks like they could use a seat, offer it to them! The entire atmosphere of the bus will noticeably improve.

4. Ask before messing with windows.
There's nothing like the single person who is too hot on a cold, rainy night, who yanks open a window above you (letting it rain on you), and then who moves on down the bus. Usually, if you want to open/close a window, everyone else wants you to too, but make sure to ask whoever's sitting right there if it's okay with them.

5. Make seats available.
If it's even vaguely crowded, seat real estate is too valuable to squander. Pick up your bag and put it under your seat or on your lap. Don't sprawl out over two seats, and certainly don't lie down across five of them. One of the sneakiest (and most inexplicable) ways of squandering a seat is to sit on the aisle seat of a two-seater so no one can sit with you. This is almost always done by prim little old ladies with a distinctly sour expression. [lemon-tasting expression] "I may have to take the bus, but I certainly don't have to sit next to one of them." Guess what, ladies? You do. Move over.

That's lots for now. There are many more unwritten rules, but I'll leave them for another day. Until then, happy riding!